Saturday, October 2, 2010

Breaking With the Past

As some of you know, I have been struggling to find the meaning of a weird coincidence.  Every piece of jewelery I have touched in the last month has broken in my hands.  I don't mean just one piece - but really everything from rings to necklaces.

During each instance, the broken jewelery broke in my hands.  It did not fall off, was not not broken before putting it on, but if felt as if it was sand falling through my fingers.  You know the feeling when you dig your hands deep into the sand at the beach and watch as the millions grains of sand slip through your fingers.  It is both a tactile soft and dynamic experience. 

This broken jewelery is not expensive, but frequent pieces that I wear and like quite a bit.  This was not the pile of ambivalent jewelery that I have kept because the person who gave it to me is somebody I love deeply, but would never wear.

It could be an exercise in futility to think about this for too long, but I like to find patterns and possible deeper insights in experiences that may be emblematic of other meanings. 

So I asked myself what could the overarching theme be from all this broken jewelery, besides just a pile of broken jewelry?  Could it be the symbolism that I am actually breaking with my past?  Could it be a coincidence that all the jewelery given to me by somebody I knew very well, but don't see or talk with any longer, is now broken?

Another important factor in the theory of breaking with the past, is that this has happened since I moved into my new place.  It id not happen in the home I lived in for 11 year, nor the childhood home that I moved into for 6 months.  But everything has broken since I have re-settled into my new place, new address, new stage of my life.  That is what brought me to the breaking with the past explanation.

Funny that this is not lost on others.  My son has shared with me that his experiences with the changes in our family is no longer sad or devastating to him.  In fact he has said how happy he is now that he now we are still a family, but in a different configuration.  He has be forced to break with his past and embrace a new way of being. His break with the past is ongoing, just as mine.

And that is why my jewelery keeps breaking.

Or for those who want a different feel  .  .  .

Either way, they say the same thing.