Sorry seems to be the hardest word. After a tremendously trying couple of weeks which include lies like "I didn't lose my wallet, I was pocket picked." Or, "homework club was good, no I didn't go". We had this interaction:
Tween: "I didn't go to my 5th period class because my P.E. teacher let me cheer on the other kids in the finals of the cross-country race."
Me: "So you ditched violin?"
Tween: "I didn't ditch class, my P.E. teacher said it was ok to miss violin to cheer on the other racers."
Me: "Did your music teacher know where you were? Did she say it was ok?"
Me: "So you ditched 5th period--like I said."
Tween: [now screaming and pushing over furniture] "Ok, I ditched class - but don't say that word out loud again."
Me: "Well I am going to contact your 5th period music teacher and let her know that you ditched class and you will lose privileges and have to deal with the consequences."
Tween: [still screaming] Ok, ok, ok, ok - just don't tell her that I "ditched"
Indulge me a bit, but even Pinocchio--the boy with the growing nose--ditched school.
s he tells his lies his nose begins to grow until it is so long he cannot turn around in the room. The Turquoise Fairy explains to Pinocchio that it is his lies that are making his nose grow long, then calls in a flock of woodpeckers to chisel down his nose. Perhaps a bit over dramatic for today's parenting.
OK - back to reality. I wrote the email that I said I would. I also shared with her how challenging things have been. Not only did I get a reply the next day, but I WAS WRONG!
He did not ditch class, he did all the things he said and she went on to tell me that he is
The Need to Connect With The Past
One 15-year old who was adopted as a child commented, "It's impossible for someone who has not been adopted to understand the vacuum created by not knowing where you came from. No matter how much I read or talk to my parents about it I can't fully explain the emptiness I feel."