So how are you doing? Oh that is a loaded question! Granted, it is a simple sentence of just 4 words. However, it is also so complicated. To answer it with complete candor, I am barely keeping it together. Yes, I walk the dog, clean the house, go to work, put on events, enjoy a flea market, but . . . I am rarely o.k. I think about my boy 24/7, and when I say 24/7, I mean it. I have not seen much sleep in quite a few weeks. I am up all night thinking about him; I am at work thinking about him; I am driving in the car thinking about him.
I miss him deeply and the daily connection that we don't have at this time. However, tonight we had a great call and I heard a strong and clear voice on the other side of the phone.
He is adjusting to the new school and environment well and even getting himself on the school's honor roll. He is taking new subjects such as Spanish and piano, and enjoying the "The Cask of Amontillado" by Poe, after working on a paper based on Beowulf. Dark work for the Halloween season?
I am deeply moved by how comfortable he feels at his new school and while there will be bumps along the way, I am thrilled that tonight he was confident and happy.
Part of this process for me is to find comfort and meaning during this time for him and for myself. I am on that path, but I have just stepped across the starting line. It is a long race--and I have nothing but time.
"Awareness leads to honesty," no truer words have been said.